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(After the Academy Awards)
So what did you think of Michael Moore's acceptance speech, Mr. President?
Not much. He's a troublemaker, that guy.
The press wants your reaction.
Well you can tell them to go to hell. They know it's BS. I'm not fictitious. Look at me. Do I look fictitious to you?
Here's what to tell them. Tell them the next time Michael Moore appears on TV talking about me like that ... I'm gonna make an appearance right on stage and prove him wrong.
But sir, I don't think he meant it that way ...
Excuse me. I know what I'm talking about. Look, I want you guys to figure out some way to take him down.
What do you mean Mr. President? Knock him off?
No. I mean find some dirt on that guy. And I'll take him DOWN.
We've already looked sir. He's pretty clean. Other than being a former member of the NRA.
Well there's gotta be something that we can nail him with, like we did with Cynthia McKinney ... Remember what happened to her? Serves her right.
We've already tried Mr. President.
Look, everyone's got something hidden in their closet. Trust me, I know.
What do you mean sir?
Oh forget it.
Hey, before you go. What kind of a car does he drive?
Moore, you moron!
A 98 Honda Civic, I think.
Well, what about a recall?
Do you mean of ALL the 1998 Honda Civics in the US?
Ya. Then we could put something under his seat without him knowing it.
A little expensive way of doing it, don't you think, sir.
Why not use the new Patriot Act to get into his car and do it that way. We wouldn't even need a search warrant.
What should be put under his seat sir?
Well I was thinking a bomb (smile), but what about a bug? Then we could pick up some dirt on that cowboy and take him DOWN. You know what I mean?
Well, then, what are you standing there for?
Copyright Ian Woods 2003. For fair use only/ pour usage équitable seulement .